03 Jun

Quickpost: addicted to meaningless jargon

This is a great article about one journalist's experiences in the RISE conference.

“We visually organize your email and cloud-based content for ultra fast access,” says Kalpesh, reading from his promotional materials. “It’s visual storytelling with any type of content.”

Say what? What does this thingy do? I have no clue.

Apparently I'm not alone. Luckily, article author translated it to plain English:

Translation: Cubes is actually an app that pinpoints anything that’s not plain-Jane text in your email or Dropbox accounts (a photograph, an excel file, a YouTube video), takes snapshots of those things, and then bundles them together in a standalone app.

OK, now I get it. Thanks! smile

However, the sad thing is, it's not just startups. If you're working in a large company, you've probably seen these kinds of emails sent by your pointy-haired bosses. They are stuck in their bubbles talking about "disruption", "alignment" and "engagement". How about this:

To ensure synergies and alignment between the finance strategy and business needs, Mr.X will co-operate closely with all finance functional leads, including aligning closely with Mr.Y and his team to ensure the consistent dissemination of financial information.

No, I really don't know why our company is going to pay $100k a year to this guy. Do you?

4 thoughts on “Quickpost: addicted to meaningless jargon

  1. Haha, yes. Thank you for writing about it. It's terrible.
    Like you said it's not only tech startups, it's everywhere. Meaningless buzzwords that no one who uses them can explain.
    First there was the "My"-Hype around 2000 (mySQL, MySpace, mydoom) then of course Web 2.0, then "Cloud", then "Big Data", etc.
    "Cloud" doesn't mean anything. It can just be replaced by "internet" or just left out completely.
    E.g. "Cloud server" What the shit?

    Someone should found a company and create an awesome rock star product called "My Big Data Web 2.0 Cloud" and make it go effin' viral. Of course funded using Kickstarter and with an .io/.me domain.

    Here's a nice bullshit bingo sheet: http://i.imgur.com/LRRrmff.jpg

    • Comment approved, sorry for the delay. :)

      From your list, only "hockey stick" and "Peyton" don't ring a bell. Everything else is used frequently by our managers.

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